Unreliability

Friday 10 Sep 2004

If you've been listening to me complain over the years, you know that I have issues with people who can't be counted on to do what they say they'll do, or who _can_ be counted on to do crazy things at the wrong times. Examples from my recent experience:

• people on my softball team who say they'll be at a game, then call me that morning to tell me they can't make it, or who show up but are on call and might have to leave at any time
• my girlfriend's father, who uses her to run his errands, and often waits until she gets home to tell her to turn back around and go out and get something for him that she could have easily gotten ON THE WAY HOME if only she'd known
• a co-worker who says yes to lunch, is "heading outside to meet right now", then ten minutes later after I can't find the person, I have to call him to find out that he's busy with some work
• a boss who refuses to set policy or adhere to it, instead using the "gray area" of any given situation to mold the outcome to please whoever needs pleasing at that time

As I sit here and ponder these idiocies, I realize that part of this situation (I wouldn't call it a problem) lies with me: I'm a rarity in this day and age because I actually say what I mean and do what I say. If I tell someone I'm going to do something, they know it's going to get done, when and how I promised. If I'm supposed to be somewhere, I'm there, on time. If I say I don't like something, that's the fact and I'm not going to just change my mind later. I don't modify my thoughts or behavior to suit anyone else, and I don't tell people what they want to hear.

This has undoubtedly cost me relationships in the past (e.g. someone who thought they could change me, not realizing that what they see is what they get) and it's probably also made me easy to manipulate (since I'm predictable due to being reliable and direct.) Come to think of it, my mentality has probably also cost me promotions at work (because I won't make things up or sugar-coat issues just to kiss ass to upper management.)

Still, when I'm 99 years old and reflecting on my life, I think I'll be happy with the way I conducted myself. I'd rather be myself than one of "them".