Why Some People Have No Luck in Relationships

Friday 4 Jun 2004

The other night, I was having dinner at one of my favorite places, and one of the managers commented that I hadn't been there in a while (for the record, I used to stop by 3-4 times a week back when I was single, working 80 hours a week, and too busy to cook.) I replied "yeah, I can't do that anymore now that I'm not single." His answer was "let me give you some advice: never let a woman tell you what you can and can't do."

Let's ignore the fact that I was only saying that I didn't have as much free time these days, and that he assumed I was obeying orders not to go out. Let's focus instead on his answer, and what it says about him. No, forget that. I'll tell you. This guy's 28 years old and spent the last five years working as a bartender. He just recently made assistant manager after trying for two years. He's got no college education. He goes out drinking every night and is one of those guys who's always making it clear that he's the toughest and he does whatever the hell he wants. If he asserts himself (which is often) he'll do it multiple times, saying the same thing over and over so he can be sure that you understand.

I know how much he makes now, as an assistant manager. I was making that much at age 23, right out of college. Anyway, back to the guy: he's also got a 9-year-old daughter whose mother is his ex-girlfriend. About a year ago, he was finally engaged to her, proud of it and bragging to everyone. Then one day he was bragging instead about how he changed his mind and he wasn't going to let any woman run his life.

And this guy's giving _me_ advice about relationships. What a funny world we live in. My girlfriend, who can see right through these sorts of acts, affectionately refers to this guy as a "piece of shit."