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+ THE ADVENTURERS +
+ The various characters contained in these writings are +
+ copyright 1993 by Thomas Miller. Any resemblance to any +
+ persons or characters either real or fictional is utterly +
+ coincidental. Copying and/or distribution of these tales +
+ is permissible only under the sole condition that no part +
+ of them will be used or sold for profit. In that case, I +
+ hope you enjoy them... +
+ Thomas Miller +
+ email@example.com +
+ THE PARTY: +
+ Alindyar 11th level drow elf mage (N) +
+ Lyra 7th level female drow elf mage (N) +
+ Belphanior 8th/8th/9th level high elf w/m/t (CN) +
+ Ged 9th/9th level grey elf priest/mage (NG) +
+ Arnold 7th level human warrior (NG) +
+ Mongo 9th level dwarf warrior (CG) +
+ Peldor 12th level human thief (N) +
+ Rillen 9th level human warrior (N) +
* Flint Firelips (guest) dwarven warrior +
+ Date: 7/26/571 C.Y. (Common Year) +
+ Time: the middle of the night, shortly before dawn +
+ Place: some plains somewhere northeast of the Yatils +
+ Climate: quite chilly; clear skies +
+ "The graveyards are full of indispensable men" +
+ Charles de Gaulle +
XCIII. The Evil Dead II (Dead by Dawn?)
The party is being attacked while trudging through the
wilderness. Various undead have sprouted from the ground
like broccoli, and surrounded the group.
Flint Firelips: Holy shit.
Rillen: The dead are alive. And they do not look happy.
Mongo: We're cut off! They've completely surrounded us!
Ged: For Boccob! (hefts his morningstar and charges a
decaying zombie-like thing)
Lightbringer: (screeching in exultation) Death to the
undead! (Ged's swing brings the morningstar into rather
forceful contact with the zombie) <splat!>
zombie: Uuuurh. (its head splatters apart with the
Lightbringer: Yes! Direct hit! (glowing brightly now)
Just aim me at those undead! I shall do the rest!
zombie: (its headless, er, corpse meanders about for a
moment before collapsing)
Mongo: That's the spirit! Attack! (he pounds a nearby
skeleton with his hammer, shattering the undead into
pieces) Fuck yeah! Eat that, scumsucker!
Rillen: (bashes at two zombies with his staff, forcing
them back) Ugh. They are leaving pieces of themselves
on my weapon.
Alindyar: They will tend to do that.
Flint Firelips: Yar! (chops at a ghoul-like thing, and
severs one of its legs) Hah!
Arnold: Aaaaaa. (chops a wight, making a huge gash in
wight: Aieeee! (hisses and spits at the warrior)
Arnold: Come and ged it. (waves his sword) Whad are
you waiding for?
Peldor: (dodges a zombie's clumsy attack, and uses his
magical feather to haste himself) So! (slashes the
undead thing twice, slaying it messily) Peldor the
champion! Back, foul undead ones! Back, or face the
wrath of Peldor unchained!
undead in general: (ignore the thief)
Peldor: What?!? Why...I'll teach you to ignore _me_!
(slashes at a skeleton)
skeleton: (claws at Peldor, but misses)
skeleton: (claws at Mongo, but does no real damage)
ghoul: (bites Ged, drawing a bit of blood) Slurp!
Ged: Away, you vile lump of dung! (bats at the undead
with his weapon)
Alindyar: (uses his wand to fire a viscous glob into
some undead) A sticky situation, this. I can do no
wrong by making it stickier...
zombie: (stuck by the glob to a ghoul, it pushes at the
latter, trying to break free) Ghlk. (it is actually
attached to the ghoul's arm by the face) Mlmph.
ghoul: Hss! (it flails at the zombie in irritation)
skeleton: (claws at Rillen, scoring a minor wound)
Rillen: Keep your bones to yourself.
skeleton: (punches Flint Firelips, knocking him back
a few feet)
ghoul: (misses Peldor) Snarl!
skeleton: (misses Mongo) <clackety-clack>
Lyra: (casts a Web upon one section of the undead mob,
bringing them all down in a heap of sticky, flailing
arms and legs and such) Hah!
Alindyar: Good move.
zombie: (still stuck to the ghoul, rips itself free,
leaving its face attached to the other undead) Rgh.
ghoul: (begins eating the zombie's face) Umm.
Lyra: How gross.
Peldor: Ha! (slashes a zombie, driving it back) Eh?
Look! Look there!
undead: (many new ones, clawing their way up from the
ground; they babble and moan incessantly)
Mongo: There must be a hundred of 'em by now!
Ged: Boccob! Even if I started turning them now, I'd
never get them all before they got us...!
Rillen: (bashes a skeleton, shattering it) The tower
nearby! We must make a break for it!
Mongo: Break?!? (smashes a skeleton with his hammer)
Damn straight! Never give a skeleton an even break.
skeletons: (three of them swarm over the dwarf, in the
process bearing him to the ground)
Mongo: Argh! Ow! Dammit! Get the hell off of me!
Arnold: Yah! (slashes a zombie, cutting it in half)
Rillen: Gutsy. (bashes at a ghoul, knocking it down)
Ged: So many undead, so little time...which to attack
next? Boccob guide me.
Lightbringer: Go for that wight over there.
Ged: Uhh...okay. (he swings at a wight, hitting it
with the holy weapon)
Lightbringer: DIE, FOUL UNDEAD!
wight: (shrieks, and dissolves) AIEEEEeeeee.....
Ged: By Boccob! It melted!
Lightbringer: That is my mission - to dispel undead.
Ged: Thanks be to Boccob for bringing you into my
possession, then. Let's go kill some undead!
Lightbringer: (glowing brightly) Yes!
Belphanior: (semi-conscious, on the ground on his gurney)
ghoul: (slinks along the ground, toward the elf)
Peldor: (slays his zombie) Hah! Peldor wins again!
Uh-oh. (backs up, as two skeletons assault him)
Mongo: (struggling under the attack of multiple foes)
Rillen's right! We've got to get to that tower! Get
there and hole up! (tosses a skeleton away) Let's
go for it!
Rillen: Right. (kicks a zombie aside) Out of my way.
Ged: (looking around) Use the webbed area! (to his
weapon) Can you ignite things? Burn them?
Lightbringer: Of course. You were thinking of-
Ged: -those webbed undead. Exactly. (he touches the
morningstar to the webs, and they instantly ignite,
blazing fiercely) For Boccob!
undead in general: (back away from the flaming region)
Lightbringer: <sigh> How stupid undead in general are.
Peldor: (grabs a skeleton on Mongo and pulls it off)
Let's make a run for it!
skeleton: (snaps at the shoulder, leaving Peldor with
its arm) Chk.
Peldor: Ugh. (holds up the still-writhing skeletal
arm in disdain)
Rillen: Need a hand? (bashes the arm with his staff,
sending it flying into the darkness)
Alindyar: (notices the ghoul creeping up on the prone
Belphanior) Naughty, naughty. Stop right there.
(he uses his wand to glue the ghoul to itself)
ghoul: Urrr? (its hand is now glued to its head,
thanks to its own mindless groping motions)
Lyra: (casts Pyrotechnics in the air above, to light
the way) Let's shed some light on things.
Rillen: (twirling his staff, he leads the way to the
tower) Don't forget the elf. (bashes a skeleton in
the ribcage, sending bone shards everywhere)
Ged: (follows Rillen, his morningstar glowing brightly
in the pre-dawn darkness) I'm with you! My weapon
is well suited for clearing undead from our path.
Arnold, help Mongo bring up the rear!
Arnold: Right. (dodges a zombie's attack, and then
slices the thing apart) Aaaaaa.
Flint Firelips: (he and Peldor grab the gurney and
follow Rillen and Ged) Let's go!
Belphanior: (barely conscious for any of this) Huh?
Peldor: Quiet, don't worry about it now.
ghoul: (swipes at Belphanior with the hand that isn't
glued to its head) Rargh?!? (grunts in frustration
as its intended prey is carried away) Nhk.
Alindyar: Come. (he grabs Lyra, and they follow in
the wake of Rillen and Ged)
Arnold: Come on, Mondo! We have to fidht at the rear
of the pahrdy! (punches a zombie, knocking a hole
clean through its head)
Mongo: (still carrying one and a half skeletons who
refuse to let go, he runs along behind the others)
Yeah! (he unwittingly steps on a skeleton's head as
skeleton: (looks up) <crunch>
They ran for the tower, slashing a path through those
undead who were in the way. Behind the party, the mob
of monsters followed noisily.
Rillen: (looks back) They might catch up with Mongo.
Ged: (stops) I'll take care of it. Keep going! (he
stows his morningstar in his belt and gets his wand
Lightbringer: What?!? Why are you putting me aside?
I demand action!
Ged: I need to create a diversion. (points the wand at
the undead horde on Mongo's heels) Run, Mongo!
Arnold: (grabs the dwarf and effortlessly pulls him
forward) Come on, Mondo! I tink he's going to bladst
them. (he ducks slightly)
Ged: I shall, by Boccob! NDREK. (a huge wall of fire
appears, and advances toward the undead mob) Heh.
undead: (many die in blazing fury, their death screams
piercing the night) Aie! Argh! Oooooo! Sssss!
Ged: Burn, foul ones. (notices that his wand is now
sputtering and smoking, like it did last time when it
ran out of power) Shit. Not now!
Rillen: Look at the bright side. You did make a wall
of fire, there.
The party dashed toward the tower...
Rillen: (leaps through the doorway, kicking open the
thick wooden door, which was ajar anyway) Hai-yah!
(looks around) I do not see anything.
Ged: (follows the warrior, again holding up his light-
shedding weapon) Clear. No monsters here. Let's
get the others inside now!
As the other adventurers made it to the tower, Ged
and Rillen stood to the sides of the doorway, ready to
defend it against any undead. Fortunately, only a few
of the marauding undead had circumvented the fiery
barrier so far, and they were quite a ways back. The
party all made it into the tower, and they shut the door
and barred it with a (conveniently nearby) wooden bar.
Mongo: It's nearly dawn now.
Peldor: (looking around) Hey, this place has no windows!
Rillen: (listening at the door) They are coming...
Suddenly, there was a great ruckus outside, as many
hands, feet, and stubs pounded and flailed upon the door
with unrelenting fury. This continued for a few minutes,
but the door held up to the assault. Then, without any
warning, all noise ceased. The party couldn't hear even
the slightest noise outside. A few minutes later, they
carefully opened the door (just a crack, mind you) and
observed a total lack of undead. The sun rose on the
Mongo: (sits down, against a wall) Geez, I'm beat.
next time : exploring the tower; undead assault#2
ftp site : ccosun.caltech.edu, in pub/adnd/fluff/adventurers
notes : As I write this, it's Thursday, March 17, 1993.
This Saturday, I will graduate with my B EE. I
had hoped to finish this saga by graduation time,
but it's not going to happen. That's the bad
news - the good news is that I've accepted a job
here at Georgia Tech's Network Services division
and will be maintaining my internet accounts for
the foreseeable future. So, the stories will keep
coming, albeit a bit less frequently (I can't do
any writing at home, during the day, anymore.)
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