Chapter #420

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                                +   +
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                            +           +
                          +               +
                        +                   +
                      +                       +
                    +      THE ADVENTURERS      +
                      +                       +
                        +      Epic II      +
                          +               +
                            +           +
                              +       +
                                +   +

+    Many of the locations, non-player characters, spells, and      +
+  other terms used in these stories are the property of TSR, Inc.  +
+  However, this does not mean that TSR in any way endorses or      +
+  authorizes their use, and any such items contained within these  +
+  stories should not be considered representative of TSR in any    +
+  way, shape, or form.                                             +
+    The player characters contained in these writings are copy-    +
+  right 1991-6 by Thomas Miller.  Any resemblance to any persons   +
+  or characters either real or fictional is utterly coincidental.  +
+  Copying and/or distribution of these tales is permissible only   +
+  under the sole condition that no part of them will be used or    +
+  sold for profit.  In that case, I hope you enjoy them...         +
+                                                                   +
+                                  Thomas Miller                    +
+                           +
+  Alindyar     17th level drow mage                            (N) +
+  Arnold       13th level human barbarian warrior             (NG) +
+  Ged          15th/14th level grey elven priest/mage         (NG) +
+    Deryck        8th level half-elven ranger                 (NG) +
+    Nenya       8th/9th level female elven warrior/mage       (NG) +
+  Lyra         13th level female drow mage                     (N) +
+  Mongo        18th level dwarven fighter                     (CG) +
+    Gorin       9th level dwarven fighter                     (NG) +
+  Bosco        11th level halfling thief                      (CN) +
+  Date:        4/13/576 C.Y. (Common Year)                         +
+  Time:        midday                                              +
+  Place:       Ged's castle, east of Greyhawk                      +
+  Climate:     pleasant                                            +
+  "Here's to the good old days...wherever they are."               +
+                 - Harry P. Lovecraft, from _Cast A Deadly Spell_  +

                    CDXX.  The Reverend Ged

  Four days have passed since Peldor and Tanya's sudden announcement,
and now, Ged and others are busy preparing for the upcoming wedding.

Ged:  -only two days left!
Arnold:  So?  (he looks around)  Looks to me like you've got things
  well in hand.
Ged:  I wish I'd known that they wanted _me_ to perform the ceremony!
  All the things I have to reschedule now...the daily blessing of the
  land...the meeting with the senior priests of the temple...Nenya's
  lesson on ice storms...
Arnold:  (remembers Nenya's last attempt to learn a powerful new
  spell, and winces)
Ged:  (also winces)  Hmm, well, maybe that last one's not such a-
Nenya:  (bounces into the room)  Hello, everyone!
Ged:  Nenya!
Arnold:  Did you and Derbyck enjoy your honeymoon?
Nenya:  We certainly did!  And now, another wedding...this is fantastic!
Ged:  (grumbles)
Arnold:  Busy time...
Deryck:  (enters the chamber)  Good day, all.

  The half-elf looked regal, attired in a fine suit that seemed to fit
perfectly over his chain mail.  His shoulder-length hair and short beard
were well-trimmed, and his sword was freshly polished.  Like Nenya, he
looked none the worse for the recent honeymoon.

Ged:  How goes it?
Deryck:  (salutes)  It goes well.  The taxes have been collected, the
  castle has been cleaned, and the perimeter is secure.
Nenya:  (looks lovingly at her new husband)  Isn't he marvelous?
Ged:  Yea, yea.  (annoyed, he shuffles through a stack of scrolls)  Now
  if you'll excuse me, I've got a great deal of-  (he slips, spilling
  the scrolls every which way)  Oh, #%@&$!
Nenya:  (laughing)  Such language!  And for a high priest!  (she grabs
  Deryck)  Come.
Deryck:  Er-
Arnold:  Don't worry, Derbyck, we'll handle everything from here.
Deryck:  Okay.  (he and Nenya leave)
Arnold:  (grinning)  Ah, young love.
Ged:  Bah.  (he reads a scroll he just opened)  Hells.
Arnold:  What?
Ged:  I sure hope I remembered to tell Calvin to send an invitation to
Arnold:  _I_ sure hope Caldvin remembered to deliver it.
Lightbringer:  _I_ sure hope he doesn't turn this wedding into another
  bloodbath, like that time-
Arnold:  We're talking about Caldvin here.
Lightbringer:  Oh, right.  Sorry.  (it pipes down)
Ged:  (to Arnold)  Good point.  That kid's been absentminded lately...
  running around with a toy t-
Arnold:  The weddink's in two days, right?
Ged:  (nods, checking another checklist)  Yea.
Arnold:  Aaa.  That reminds me, I have to visit the tailor and pick up
  my suit.
Ged:  You think you have problems?  At least you're not the one who's
  actually _performing_ the ceremony!  I have to wear a three-layered
  ceremonial robe!
Arnold:  They're having it right here?  (he points to the stony floor
  of the castle)  In your cadstle?
Ged:  Yea.  No.  I mean yes.  We're holding the wedding in the chapel
Arnold:  Chapel?
Ged:  (busy scribbling on a parchment, as he dots i's and crosses t's)
  Every castle has a chapel, Arnold.  Even the most sinister ones.
Arnold:  Aaa.
Ged:  And to think, all this ruckus came amidst my latest research...
Arnold:  What researdch is that?
Ged:  The Tome of the Black Heart.
Arnold:  What's that?
Ged:  It's a book...a thick black magical book that I picked up while
  we were in Maure Castle.
Arnold:  (nods, recalling that adventure)  Aaa.  Kerzid.
Ged:  (keeps talking as he works on whatever it is he's working on)
  Right, it was his book.  Well, kind of.
Arnold:  What does the book do?
Ged:  Hard to say...(he scratches someone's name off a list)  Heh.
Arnold:  (waiting)
Ged:  Oh.  Yea, it's hard to say, but it seems to be some kind of a
  treatise dealing with the opening of a portal to some other plane
  of existence.
Arnold:  (pauses, contemplating this)  Uh, right.  (he looks around)
  O-kay, I have to go.
Ged:  (immersed in his work, he waves a hand)  Take care.
Arnold:  (wanders out)  Hi, Albindyar.
Alindyar:  (wanders in)  Greetings, Arnold.
Ged:  Rary...Tenser...(he looks up)  Alindyar!
Alindyar:  Good day to you.
Ged:  And to you.  Did you ever get that guards and wards spell working
Alindyar:  (nods)  Aye.  And the glyphs, and the runes, and all of the
  other measures.
Ged:  Cool.  So you're ready for thieves?
Alindyar:  More than ready.  Between the spells, magical traps, and
  guardians, I believe it is safe to say that our mansion is hazardous
  to the health of any would-be intruders.
Ged:  Nifty.  So, what brings you here?
Alindyar:  I was wondering about something.
Ged:  (scratches something on another scroll)  No, I don't think Lyra
  is pregnant just yet.
Alindyar:  (looks shocked)
Ged:  (looks up)  Just kidding.
Alindyar:  The-  how-  when-
Ged:  Elves' life-cycles are vastly different than those of humans.
  I'd guess we'll see a baby from Tanya, or Songa, or even Nenya before
  Lyra conceives.
Alindyar:  (flustered)  That is _not_ the question I had for you!
Ged:  (looks mildly apologetic)  Oh.  Sorry, my mind's been drifting a
  great deal lately.
Alindyar:  I can see that.  (he takes a seat and crosses his legs)  My
  question involves this impending wedding, and the...customs of the
  surface world.
Ged:  You're not sure what to wear?
Alindyar:  (looks nonplussed)  That is Lyra's concern.  No, what I need
  is some instruction concerning gifts.
Ged:  Gifts?  As in wedding gifts?
Alindyar:  Precisely.
Ged:  Oh, hell, that's easy.  Just get them whatever you'd normally
  get a drow couple who're getting married in a drow city.
Alindyar:  (frowns)  When a drow couple are wed in a drow city, the
  gifts are often lethal in nature-
Ged:  Okay, nevermind.  Let's see, here-
Alindyar:  Money?  Scrolls?  A magical item perhaps?
Ged:  (nods)  All would be fine, though I think we both know that Peldor
  probably has more money than he knows what to do with.
Alindyar:  (smiles)  That wasn't always the case...
Ged:  (also smiles)  Ah, for the good old days.
Alindyar:  (nods)  Whatever happened to them...
Ged:  (sets a scroll down, inadvertently knocking another off of the
  table)  Anyway, to answer your question, anything's pretty much a
  safe bet for a wedding gift.
Alindyar:  (nods)
Ged:  (holds up a finger)  Unless it's alive, dead, or dangerous.  Or
  all three.
Alindyar:  (smiles)  Naturally.  (he stands)  My thanks.  You have
  been most helpful, as I knew you would.
Ged:  Anytime.
Alindyar:  (leaves, bumping into Lyra as she enters)  Oops.
Lyra:  (swats him atop the head)  Watch where you're going, would you?
  (she strolls in, handing Ged a scroll)
Ged:  Eh?
Lyra:  Here's that spell we traded you for the one you gave us.  Sorry
  about the delay, I've been rather busy.
Ged:  Oh, no prob-
Lyra:  (teleports away)
Ged:  -lem.  (he frowns, and turns to Alindyar, who's still standing
  in the doorway)  What gives?
Alindyar:  (shrugs)  It's that time of the month.
Ged:  Ohhh.
Alindyar:  I am simply staying away.  In fact, I took a horse here.
Ged:  (raises his eyebrows)  Wow.  I know how much you hate the sun.
Alindyar:  I do not hate it - I never hated it.  It sometimes becomes
  irritating, but such is the price I must pay.  And I do not mind.
Ged:  (nods, as if he understands)
Alindyar:  Still, I would not count on Lyra or me getting a tan anytime
  this century.
Ged:  Heh.
Alindyar:  (waves)  Well, I really must be going.
Ged:  See you at the wedding!
Alindyar:  (leaves)  Hello, Bosco.
Bosco:  (enters)  Hi, man.
Ged:  (although he barely hears the halfling's shrill voice in the
  background of his thoughts, he groans)  What can I do for you today,
Bosco:  Well, I was wondering if I could borrow a sp-
Ged:  No, absolutely not.
Bosco:  But you haven't even heard me out yet!
Ged:  I don't need to, Bosco.  If you want something, it's only so you
  can get your little hands on something else.
Bosco:  But I've gotta have a spell of shrinking!
Ged:  Might I ask why?
Bosco:  (looks upward)  Uh...(looks downward)  Err...(looks from side
  to side)  Uhm...
Ged:  (returns to his writing)  I thought not.
Bosco:  Aw, come on!
Ged:  Bosco, I'm really busy right now.  Maybe after the wedding...or
  you could try Alindyar or Lyra.  They might be able to help you.
Bosco:  Drat.  (he turns for the door, looking back at Ged)
Ged:  (scribbling again)
Bosco:  (deftly pockets a golden egg that lies amidst a pile of junk
  on a desktop)  Okay, later!  (he leaves, running down the hall as
  only a sub-three-foot individual can do)  Hey, Alindyar!  Wait up...
Ged:  Whew.
Mongo:  (walks in, with Gorin)  Hey there!
Ged:  (looks up wearily)  What can I do for you?
Mongo:  Nothing, just coming by to say hi.
Gorin:  Hi.
Ged:  Oh.  (he looks around, confused)
Mongo:  Well, we've gotta get going - that wedding's coming up awful
Gorin:  Yeah, and me without any decent armor.
Mongo:  (to Gorin)  You can't wear armor to a wedding!
Gorin:  Why not?  (they leave, still debating this)
Ged:  (continues working for a few moments, then looks up)  Hmm, that's
  odd.  It's awfully slow around here today.

next:      prenuptial chaos
ftp: in /pub/access/dpm/rpg/stories/adventurers
  in /pub/users/zac/rpg/adventurers/
mail:       (preferred)
notes:     After a lengthy Helgate storyline (407-419) I felt it
  was time for some lighter fare.  Hope you enjoyed it.
    For the record, whenever a "supporting" character (like Bosco
  in this episode) ends up evenly lined up evenly with the "main"
  characters, it means that s/he's getting full billing because
  his/her liege isn't present in that story.

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