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+ THE ADVENTURERS +
+ Epic II +
+ Many of the locations, non-player characters, spells, +
+ and other terms used in these stories are the property of +
+ TSR, Inc. However, this does not mean that TSR in any +
+ way endorses or authorizes their use, and any such items +
+ contained within these stories should not be considered +
+ representative of TSR in any way, shape, or form. +
+ Due to the nature of the Internet, these stories have +
+ been widely available since 1991. I have given them to +
+ the world freely, and have never intended to market them +
+ or in any way make money. However, due to TSR, Inc.'s +
+ copyright restrictions, old episodes of the Adventurers +
+ are no longer being archived on any ftp site anywhere. +
+ The player characters contained in these writings are +
+ copyright 1994 by Thomas Miller. Any resemblance to any +
+ persons or characters either real or fictional is utterly +
+ coincidental. Copying and/or distribution of these tales +
+ is permissible only under the sole condition that no part +
+ of them will be used or sold for profit. In that case, I +
+ hope you enjoy them... +
+ Thomas Miller +
+ firstname.lastname@example.org +
+ THE PARTY: +
+ Alindyar 15th level dark elven mage (N) +
+ Arnold 11th level human warrior (NG) +
+ Belphanior 12th/14th/14th level high elven w/m/t (CN) +
+ small immaterial wispy thing +
+ Ged 14th/14th level grey elf priest/mage (NG) +
+ Lyra 12th level female dark elven mage (N) +
+ Mongo 16th level dwarven warrior (CG) +
+ Peldor 18th level human thief (N) +
+ Bosco 8th level halfling thief (CN) +
+ Rillen 16th level human warrior (N) +
+ Date: unknown +
+ Time: afternoon +
+ Place: an alien city called "New Orleans" +
+ Climate: moderately cold +
+ "Not as bad as you might have imagined." +
+ - motto suggested for New Jersey by Calvin Trillin +
CCVI. The Party Regroups
Peldor: (walking briskly through the halls and offices of
the police station, disguised and with Belphanior's many
missing items stashed in his pocket of holding) Ho-hum.
three FBI guys: (come running around the corner) You!
Hold it right there!
Peldor: Uh-oh...(he blinks into invisibility)
Agent Proctor: Huh?
Agent Gamble: What the hell...?
Agent Smith: Come on! (they all charge toward the place
where they last saw the thief)
Peldor: (runs invisibly toward the station's main door)
Dodging and ducking, the thief managed to avoid bumping
into the first three police officers in his way. However,
as fate would have it, a rather obese specimen wandered
into his path at the last minute, oblivious to all that
was going on as he munched on a doughnut.
Peldor: (tries to dodge the fellow, but ends up bowling
him over) Whoa-
large cop: Dooouulf! (he falls, sending doughnuts flying
in all directions) Shit!
Peldor: (becomes visible, surprising all nearby) Hi! (he
catches a falling doughnut and continues running)
large cop: (looks around) Huh?
wispy thing: (looks the cop in the face) Fssss! (flies
FBI guys: (slowed somewhat by the fallen officer) Dammit!
Across the street from the police station, the others in
Peldor's group waited impatiently.
Bosco: (eats yet another doughnut) Mmm.
Rillen: How many is that now?
Mongo: Where the hell is Peldor?!? He should've been back
Lyra: Calm down. I'm sure he'll show up eventually.
wispy thing: (appears from somewhere, making urgent faces
and babbling madly) Pssss! Ffffrp!
Bosco: (his mouth stuffed full of food) Hrngm?
Just then, a sudden commotion caught their attention from
across the street. A lone police officer was running from
the police station, hotly pursued by three well-dressed men
and a number of other officers.
Rillen: (stands up) It's Peldor!
Mongo: Or is it? Those "policemen" all look the same.
Bosco: No, that's the one he disguised himself as.
Lyra: At least he's not running this way, to reveal us.
(she heads for the door, and begins spellcasting)
Rillen: Hmm. (he follows the drow enchantress)
Bosco: Oh, boy! (a doughnut in each hand, he runs after
Mongo: Cripes...(he hikes up his belt and trundles toward
the door) Damn thieves. Always getting into trouble.
Peldor: (becomes invisible again, but continues running,
Rillen: Now you see him, now you don't...
The pursuers stopped short, confused as hell. For that
matter, even the nearby witnesses were confused as hell.
bystander: Uh, huh huh duh huh.
other bystander: Whoa! That was _cool_!
various pursuers: (begin running toward Peldor, though
they can't see him)
Rillen: I wonder where he went?
Bosco: I'm sure he's around here _somewhere_. (he looks
around, eyes wide, still munching on a doughnut)
Mongo: (hefts his hammer, watching various police and
bystanders dart about) Uh...this place is getting too
crowded for my liking, if you know what I mean.
Lyra: (completes her spell, and a huge sheet of ice appears
from nowhere, blocking the FBI agents and police officers.
Agent Proctor: I don't believe this...
Agent Gamble: What the hell's going on here?!?
Agent Smith: (looking around) We can run around this ice,
maybe catch that guy.
Suddenly, a traffic signal overhead exploded, spraying
everyone with small bits of yellow metal and plastic and
Bosco: Holy cow! What the heck was _that_?!?
Mongo: (catches his hammer) Cover fire.
Peldor: (appears at the side of the others, becoming
visible again and un-disguising himself) Let's get
out of here!
Lyra: A teleport, eh? (she begins spellcasting)
policemen: (two of them, from the doughtnut shop) Hey!
Rillen: (points at the huge wall of ice in the middle of
the street) You were saying?
Bosco: (behind one of the officers, he crouches down at
the man's feet and begins tying his shoelaces together)
first policeman: (confused by whatever it is that Lyra's
doing) I said freeze!
Peldor: (uses his ring to TK the fellow's gun out of his
hand) I'll take that.
Rillen: (holds up his hands) Very well, we surrender.
second policeman: (starts forward, but trips over his own
feet and falls) What the-
Bosco: (busy relieving the fellow of various items on his
Lyra: Quickly, join hands!
Peldor: Come on, Bosco!
Bosco: Huh? Oh.
As the FBI agents finally got a glimpse of their quarry
and his cohorts, the whole band simply...vanished!
Agent Proctor: (slaps his forehead in frustration) Argh!
Agent Gamble: Where...how...?
Agent Smith: (looking around) Hmm, maybe we should call
Project: Blue Book.
As the five adventurers re-appeared within the hotel
suite, the first thing they saw was Belphanior, bleeding
from several minor wounds he hadn't bothered to bandage.
The elf was sitting cross-legged on the counter, eating
strange, steaming food from several white containers.
Mongo: Hey! What happened to you?
Belphanior: (noodles hanging out of his mouth, he points
with a fork toward a corpse propped up in one corner)
The dead fellow was well-dressed, for all the good it
would do him. The handle of a large knife still protruded
from his neck, and blood was seeping down his torso.
Mongo: Who the hell's this guy?
Bosco: (considers searching the dead man's pockets)
Belphanior: He came in here and tried to kill me. As you
can see, he didn't succeed.
Rillen: (examining the corpse) That's fairly obvious.
Was this man some kind of assassin?
Belphanior: (shrugs) I'd guess so, but who can be sure?
(he forks another bite of food into his mouth)
Lyra: Where did all this food come from?
Belphanior: I figured out what "room service" is.
wispy thing: (hovers over the food) Pfsss?
Peldor: (begins unloading items on the counter) I believe
these are yours...
Belphanior: Oh...wow. (his heart swells with gratitude)
All my stuff...(he eyes Blackrazor, wondering how the
thief managed to fit the sword into a pocket of holding)
Bosco: (grabs a chunk of meat from within Belphanior's
food while the elf is preoccupied) Mmm.
Rillen: (notes that the corpse in the corner is leaking
blood onto the carpet) I wonder if we have to pay for
Belphanior: I guess Ged and Alindyar didn't get back yet.
Lyra: No...they must still be looking for information in
Bosco: And Arnold too!
Lyra: Yes, child, Arnold too.
Belphanior: (drily) Don't forget Paula.
Mongo: Who could do that?
Bosco: (retrieves several doughnuts from his pockets) Hey,
where'd these come from?
Belphanior: (examines a doughnut) What the hell is this?
next time : the continuing adventures of the others
notes : Life is good. I've stabilized my TSR problem,
and actually written _two_ stories this week! Not to
mention that everything else is going really, really well
for me right now. Hopefully I'll get back into a good
pace for writing, this fall.
previous chapter (#205)
next chapter (#207)