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+ THE ADVENTURERS +
+ Epic II +
+ The various characters contained in these writings are +
+ copyright 1994 by Thomas Miller. Any resemblance to any +
+ persons or characters either real or fictional is utterly +
+ coincidental. Copying and/or distribution of these tales +
+ is permissible only under the sole condition that no part +
+ of them will be used or sold for profit. In that case, I +
+ hope you enjoy them... +
+ Thomas Miller +
+ email@example.com +
+ THE PARTY: +
+ Alindyar 15th level dark elven mage (N) +
+ Arnold 11th level human warrior (NG) +
+ Belphanior 12th/14th/14th level high elven w/m/t (CN) +
+ small immaterial wispy thing +
+ Ged 14th/14th level grey elf priest/mage (NG) +
+ Lyra 12th level female dark elven mage (N) +
+ Mongo 16th level dwarven warrior (CG) +
+ Peldor 18th level human thief (N) +
+ Bosco 8th level halfling thief (CN) +
+ Rillen 16th level human warrior (N) +
+ Date: unknown +
+ Time: morning +
+ Place: an alien city called "New Orleans" +
+ Climate: moderately cold +
+ "The use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension +
+ of the Blues Brothers has been approved." +
+ - from _The Blues Brothers_ +
While the other adventurers are elsewhere, Peldor and
the wispy thing have made their way into a hospital, seeking
Belphanior's body. Imagine their surprise when they found
the elf alive and walking, even fighting! Of course, the
pair (trio, if one counts the wisp) didn't get far before
they encountered the hospital security guards...but we must
now turn our attention to the other adventurers, who are in
a plush hotel room, as yet unaware of the aforementioned
Alindyar: (tinkering with the huge stereo on one wall, he
causes a tray to slide outward) Fascinating.
Rillen: (picks a shiny, lightweight disk out of the tray)
Paula: That's a CD.
Lyra: "CD"? What is its purpose?
Alindyar: Information, perhaps...
Paula: Music! It plays music.
Rillen: (examining the CD) It seems to have no value as
a weapon. (he flings the CD at a wall, but it bounces
off) None whatsoever.
Arnold: (sitting in a reclining chair, he pulls the
handle, and nearly falls backward onto the floor) Aaa.
Bosco: (sitting atop the coffee table, glued to the TV)
Ahh. (a commercial for the U.S. Army flashes by, showing
tanks and helicopters) Whoa!
Mongo: Hey, I need a war chariot like that...
Bosco: (accidentally sits on the remote control, causing
the channel to change)
lady on TV: ...and now we take you live, to Memorial
Hospital, where an apparent group of terrorists is still
holed up. Though no positive identification is pending,
police have released these pictures-
Bosco: (grows bored) I want the "U.S. Army" show back!
(he grabs for the remote, which has fallen on the floor)
There. (before mashing buttons, he happens to glance at
the TV screen) Huh?
Ged: (holding CDs in each hand) What next?
Alindyar: Try that one.
Bosco: (his shrill voice drowning out all other noise in
the room) Come here! Come quick! They're on TV!
Mongo: (looks as the screen, where a rough likeness of
Belphanior's face is plastered) Shit!
Paula: Belphanior...what's he doing on TV?
Arnold: I thought they killed him.
Rillen: They _did_ kill him.
Alindyar: 'Twould appear not...
Lyra: ...and now he's involved in something at that place
Mongo: C'mon! We've got to get over there and see what's
up! He may need our help!
Paula: Let's go - I can get us there in about ten minutes.
Ged: Yea! (the party gathers its possessions and prepares
Bosco: (left holding the TV remote) Golly. (he looks
around) Hey! Wait for me!
Paula: (remembers to grab the key to the suite) Whew.
Meanwhile, at Memorial Hospital, Belphanior and Peldor
were holed up in a service corridor. About fifty feet
away, several security guards were lying about, unconscious
and bleeding. Further down the hallway, a number of police
were crouched behind hastily overturned desks and shelves,
firing at will.
Belphanior: (hiding behind the L-shaped turn at their end
of the corridor) Shit! (he jerks his head back as a
bullet zings off the wall) If only I had my spell-stuff!
Hmm, if only I had my other equipment...(his red eye
Peldor: (uses his ring to TK a chair through the air, at
the police officers) Yeah...(he looks behind them) Hey,
is that door open?
wispy thing: (looks at the door quizzically) Sss?
Belphanior: (leaps toward the door, and kicks it open
with his bare foot) It is now.
Peldor: Let's go! (he TKs a desk upward, into the ceiling
panels, collapsing them, with a flash of shorted power
cables, and blocking the hallway for now)
They retreated into another hallway, but not before Peldor
propped the kicked-in door back up in its doorway, as an
Belphanior: (regards the thief)
The corridor they were now in was wider, but shorter,
than the last one. It also had a flight of stairs at the
far end - from which could be heard many footsteps, from
above, approaching fast even as the thieves stood there!
Peldor: Quick! (he somersaults over to the stairway,
grabs a packet from a pocket, and tosses it up the
stairway, where it breaks open, spraying thick dust
everywhere and filling the stairwell) Ha!
Belphanior: What the hell was that?!?
Peldor: Dust of sneezing and choking! That ought to keep
them for a while...
Belphanior: But not forever...(he hefts the baton he took
from a guard before) I may have to kill somebody soon.
Peldor: Maybe. (he uses his hat of disguise to become a
fellow dressed just like the police in the previous hall-
way) Maybe this'll fool 'em.
Belphanior: I doubt it. (he grabs a nearby table and
begins pushing it over to the doorway through which they
entered this hall)
About this time, the sounds of sneezing and coughing,
from the stairway, began.
Peldor: Hah! That got them!
Belphanior: Still got those potions?
Peldor: Sure. Err...which ones?
Belphanior: Anything that can heal me - I'm not quite up
to snuff right now - and anything else we can use right
Peldor: (hands his companion a potion of extra-healing)
Here, drink this.
wispy thing: (sails off, into the dust-filled stairway)
Belphanior: (guzzles the offered potion) Ahh.
Peldor: Here, this other one might help us out.
Belphanior: What is it?
Peldor: Acid. Concentrated acid.
Belphanior: Excellent. (he snatches the bottle and dashes
over to where he moved the table) Ah, I think I hear 'em
coming...(he prepares to throw the acid)
A few moments later, he did, shattering the container in
the hallway right in front of the charging policemens' feet.
The hallway filled with noxious fumes, as the powerful acid
quickly ate a hole in the floor. The foes recoiled, yelling
Belphanior: Hah! (he hefts the baton) Hmm, what next?
Peldor: Don't know. We're surrounded on both sides, and
the dust and acid won't hold them off forever...
Belphanior: (hops atop another table, and begins bashing
ceiling tiles) Hey, there's walkways up here!
Peldor: Hmm, good idea. (he leaps up and grabs a ceiling
pipe that Belphanior exposed) Whoaaa- (the pipe breaks
abruptly, and the thief falls to the floor) Oof!
Belphanior: Careful there...
Peldor: (notices water spraying from the broken pipe)
Geez, they need to get this place fixed. (he aims the
water spray at the stairwell, quickly wetting the lower
steps) Heh heh.
Belphanior: What's that sound? (he points at the stairs)
The sounds of onrushing feet came closer and closer,
albeit only from the stairwell; the other doorway, through
which they had come here, remained unassailed.
Peldor: (gets on one side of the stairway, as Belphanior
gets on the other)
Belphanior: (holding a scrap of cloth over his nose and
mouth, to fend off stray fumes from Peldor's dust, he
raises his baton)
As they waited for foes to arrive, they heard a number
of loud crashing noises and grunts from above.
wispy thing: (shoots forth from the gas-filled stairway)
Sssssss! (it orbits Belphanior's head)
Belphanior: Not now! (he swats at the thing)
wispy thing: (gyrates wildly in midair) Ffffffsss!
Peldor: (hears loud footsteps and voices, and prepares
to trip whoever comes out of the stairway first)
As a short figure emerged from the gas-filled stairs,
Peldor stuck his foot out...
Mongo: HEY! (he slips on the wet steps and falls, but
still punches at the thief, knocking him back against
a wall, and quickly gets to his feet, hammer in hand)
Belphanior: (staring in shock)
Rillen: (emerges from the stairway, his nose and mouth
covered by a thick cloth) <cough>
Peldor: (looking around)
Mongo: What's the big idea?!? We're here to rescue you!
Rillen: And why are you dressed like that?
Belphanior: (remembers that he's wrapped in a sheet) Uh.
Ged: (emerges from the gas, followed by the others) By
Boccob! You're still alive!
Belphanior: (muttering) No thanks to you...
Bosco: Hey! It's the guys!
Peldor: There you are. I was wondering what happened to
Belphanior: (to Lyra) How did you get down here without
Lyra: A fireball, in the air above this city...several
Arnold: -and some good old-fashioned head-bashink.
Lyra: Plus some help from the wisp here.
wispy thing: (grins)
Peldor: Hmm. We've got to get out of this place. You
must know that by now.
Belphanior: Yeah, it's swarming with idiots. Armed ones.
Alindyar: I know. (he begins a Teleport spell)
Bosco: (chimes in helpfully) Armed idiots are the worst
Arnold: (babbling) Time to eggscape.
Ged: We've got a place to stay now.
Paula: Yeah, that's an understatement.
Bosco: A great mansion! A suite! A-
Mongo: Do we have to link hands now? (everyone begins
to do so anyway, in preparation for the drow's spell)
Belphanior: Hey, what about-
Suddenly, everyone blinked out of the hospital, and re-
appeared in the hotel suite.
Belphanior: -my weapons and equipment?
Peldor: (looking around)
Bosco: Home, sweet home!
next time : re-organizing
ftp site : ftp.cs.pdx.edu in /pub/frp/stories/adventurers
notes : First, I have another excuse for the recent slow
pace of stories, one that I haven't yet told you about...
my car was the recipient of two factory recalls, and the
dealer screwed up royally. First they cracked my timing
belt cover while performing that recall. Then they fixed
that, but messed up my idle speed, and couldn't get my
oxygen sensor off to replace it. Then my tensioner went,
and that took quite a bit of arguing to avoid paying for.
It's (supposedly) all fixed now, as of evening, 12 Sept.
but this whole process has spanned more than a month, not
to mention 7 separate trips to the dealer.
Things like this slow down my writing, 'cause they upset
my mind. It's just the way I am, I guess.
Well, by the time you see this posted, I'll be in
Orlando, on my latest vacation (only 5 days this time)
but I wanted to get one more episode out before then.
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