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+ THE ADVENTURERS +
+ Epic II +
+ The various characters contained in these writings are +
+ copyright 1993 by Thomas Miller. Any resemblance to any +
+ persons or characters either real or fictional is utterly +
+ coincidental. Copying and/or distribution of these tales +
+ is permissible only under the sole condition that no part +
+ of them will be used or sold for profit. In that case, I +
+ hope you enjoy them... +
+ Thomas Miller +
+ email@example.com +
+ THE PARTY: +
+ Alindyar 15th level drow elf mage (N) +
+ Lyra 12th level female drow elf mage (N) +
+ Belphanior 12th/13th/13th level high elf w/m/t (CN) +
+ Ged 13th/13th level grey elf priest/mage (NG) +
+ Arnold 11th level human warrior (NG) +
+ ? grey cat (familiar) (NG) +
+ Mongo 15th level dwarf warrior (CG) +
+ Flint 11th level dwarf warrior (CG) +
+ Peldor 18th level human thief (N) +
+ Rillen 15th level human warrior (N) +
+ WITH SPECIAL GUEST STARS: +
+ Belphanior-2 15th level elven ranger (LN) +
+ Sparky extremely large wolf (N) +
+ Peldor-2 18th level human thief (N) +
+ Rillen-2 13th level human ninja (N) +
+ Date: several days after arrival +
+ Time: midday +
+ Place: the fortress of the evil Ged, in an alternate +
+ dimension +
+ Climate: warm indoors, cold outside +
+ "Good judgement comes from experience, and experience +
+ comes from bad judgement." +
+ - Barry LePatner +
CXXXVII. A Bit of Trouble
The party has split into two groups, to facilitate their
invasion/search of the evil Ged's fortress. Let us follow,
for a time, the paths and deeds of one of the groups...
Rillen: (leading his group up some stairs) Where are we
Belphanior-2: Upward, into the fortress.
Ged: We knew that. I think what he means is, how will we
know which way to go?
Arnold: Who cares? Ah-nold will cut dhem all down! (he
flexes his muscles for a moment, then resumes his spot
in the front of the marching order)
Belphanior: I feel safer already. (feels a familiar buzz
from his sword) Hey-
Belphanior-2: Someone's coming. Sparky _always_ smells
Belphanior: I was about to say, there are souls ahead.
Rillen: (prepares his quarterstaff)
They emerged quietly from the stairway, and peeked into
a hallway, where a squad of armored gnolls was marching
Rillen: (signals for quiet, and prepares his staff)
gnoll: (the one in front of the group, walks in front of
the opening in which everyone is hiding) So, Gunther
me boy, I says to her-
Rillen: (smacks the gnoll in the chest, knocking it out
and sending it sprawling into its fellows) Talk is
Ged: (lets his Sleep spell go, and three of the humanoids
fall asleep instantly) For Boccob!
Sparky: Growr! (leaps forth, bowling over another gnoll)
Arnold: Aaa. (he hacks a gnoll, slaying it) Ah-nold!
Belphanior-2: (strikes out with sword and dagger, and yet
another gnoll - the last - falls)
Sparky: (disembowelling his victim) Rrrargh!
Belphanior: (quickly slashes the throats of the sleeping
Ged: You didn't have to _kill_ them!
Belphanior: Sure I did.
Belphanior-2: I have to agree with him. And not just
because he's me. If even _one_ of these fellows got
away, we'd be caught. And they wouldn't show us any
mercy at all.
Ged: Hmm, I suppose you're right.
They dragged the bodies into the stairwell, and proceeded
on their way. Following the hallway until it ended in a
chamber, the adventurers entered, closing the door behind
them. They appeared to be in some kind of storage area,
for crates and barrels were stacked about in large numbers.
Another exit presented itself, a narrow stairway leading
upward; they took this, ascending.
Rillen: (leading the way) I hear odd noises ahead.
Belphanior: Me too.
Ged: Sounds like...animals?
They emerged into a chamber that looked like a laboratory
for a wizard. Bottles and jugs were scattered about. On
a stone slab was a strange monster indeed. The thing had
the basic shape of a man, but an extra pair of arms jutted
from its sides. In addition, two extra heads sprouted from
its shoulders, one being that of a wolf, the other a red
dragon. The head in the center scowled at the party with
human, yet evil, features. The four arms, their hands
ending in great hooked talons, flexed and curled at the
To either side of the thing were wizards, one an elf in
black robes, the other a short human in red clothing.
evil elf mage: (to three-headed thing) Kill! Kill them!
evil human mage: Whoever they may be...
thing: (fluidly rises and gets off the slab)
Ged: By Boccob, what in the hell is THAT?!?
Belphanior: I don't know, but it's big, mean, and ugly!
evil elf mage: By the Dread Dargoth...look at that one,
the elf in the odd garb...!
Belphanior: (takes advantage of the shock element of Ged
and becomes invisible, moving around for a backstab)
evil human mage: Indeed. He bears a resemblance to a
certain one we know...(begins spellcasting) We must
assume the worst.
evil elf mage: Yes...an illusion, or a doppleganger.
(also begins spellcasting)
three-headed thing's human head: Eeulp. (snot drips from
three-headed thing's wolf head: (glaring at Sparky)
Sparky: (snarls back) Snarl!
three-headed thing's dragon head: (turns to Ged) Sss...
Ged: (already spellcasting) What the-
Rillen: (whips out his bow and nocks an arrow)
three-headed thing's dragon head: Bleargh! (belches
flames all over Ged and Arnold)
Ged: Eeargh! (his spell ruined, and his robe partially
aflame, he staggers backward)
Arnold: Aaa! (somewhat better protected, due to his
magical plate mail, he reels)
Belphanior-2: (acting quickly, he grabs a jug of liquid
from a nearby table and douses Ged, putting out most of
the elf's flames) Cool down!
Ged: Eearg- Huh? Ptui! Vinegar! Where did this come
Belphanior-2: Don't ask. (he draws his sword and dagger,
and advances on the three-headed thing) And now for you.
Sparky: (leaps at the evil elven mage, blood on his mind)
evil elven mage: (casts Hold Monster upon Sparky and those
nearest to him, namely Arnold and - unknowingly - the
invisible Belphanior) Hah hah! Take _that_, invaders!
Sparky: (succumbs to the magic, and falls, motionless)
Arnold: (resists the magic) Aaa?
Belphanior: (also resists the magic) ...? (becomes
visible, behind the two evil magi)
evil human mage: (fails to see the newly-materialized
elf, absorbed as he is in his spellcasting)
evil elven mage: (likewise fails to see Belphanior, who
has raised his sword and is quietly approaching)
three-headed thing: (swipes at Arnold and Belphanior-2
with its arms) Grargh!
Arnold: (hit by an arm, staggers) Whaaaad?
Belphanior-2: (manages to dodge both arms) Whoa.
Rillen: (fires four arrows in rapid succession, hitting
the evil elven mage with all of them and pinning him to
a bookshelf) Stick around.
evil elven mage: Argh! Ugh! Eyagh! Ungh!
Arnold: (hacks at the three-headed thing, hitting twice
since the monster wears no armor and is rather slow to
three-headed monster: Rargh! Urgh! (reels)
Ged: (staggering around, wiping vinegar out of his eyes)
evil human mage: (casts Feeblemind upon the elf)
Ged: (still staggering) Huh...blork.
Belphanior: (backstabs the evil human mage, striking a
truly tremendous blow as he slices the man open to the
human mage: (complies, and in a most messy fashion)
Belphanior: (absorb's the mage's life energy) Ahhhhh.
three-headed thing's wolf head: (snaps at Arnold, but
evil elven mage: (trying to cast another spell despite
the four arrows imbedded in his body) Oh, this hurts.
Belphanior: Not as much as _this_ will. (stabs the mage
in the throat, wounding him badly and ruining his spell)
evil elven mage: Gahk! (clutches his throat)
three-headed thing's dragon head: Bleargh! (breathes a
blast of fire in the direction of Arnold, but the big
warrior manages to duck under the flames)
Belphanior-2: (slashes the three-headed thing with his
sword and dagger, hitting with both weapons) Back, you
Arnold: Yah! (punctuates the elf's demand with a well-
aimed sword blow to the monster's chest)
three-headed thing: (staggers and falls)
Rillen: (sends two arrows flying into the thing's head)
And stay down.
three-headed thing: (dies, its heads slobbering and
spitting) Glab glub gibber...
Rillen: (hits the evil elven mage with two more arrows)
evil elven mage: Urk. (dies)
Rillen: So much for him.
Belphanior-2: Nice shot.
Rillen: Why, thank you.
Belphanior: (a little upset because he was about to slay
the mage and take his life energy) Grr...
They rested and bound their wounds, and Sparky was made
to come around thanks to a Dispel Magic from Belphanior.
Sparky: (licks Belphanior's hand) Rrr.
Belphanior-2: Make no mistake, he's a killer at heart.
Arnold: (hears noises outside the exit on the far side
of the chamber) Uh, I tink someone heard the baddle...
Belphanior: Roger that! I sense a whole shitload of
souls, coming this way fast!
Rillen: I think we have a bigger problem. (he points
to Ged, who is babbling moronically and drooling all
Belphanior-2: Must have been that evil mage...
The door burst open, admitting a whole slew of fire
giants and hell hounds.
next time : a switch to the other group's exploits
notes : Plan B continues.
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next chapter (#138)