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* The characters and events contained in this writing are copyright
* 1991 by Thomas Miller...copying and distribution of these stories
* is permissible only under the condition that no part of them will
* be used or sold for profit. In that case, I hope you enjoy them.
Alindyar, 4th level drow elf mage (N)
Belphanior, 3rd/3rd/4th level high elf fighter/mage/thief (CN)
Ged, 4th/3rd level grey elf priest/mage (NG)
Halbarad, 4th level human ranger (NG)
Mongo Thunderhead, 4th level dwarf fighter (CG)
Peldor, 5th level human thief (N)
Peyote, 3rd/3rd level half-elf fighter/druid (N)
Rob, 5th level human priest (LG)
XIII. Utter and Complete Chaos
There is a barfight in progress...
Alindyar: (nowhere near the main battle) I cast a wall of fog in
the vicinity of the table that Mongo is at.
DM: The table and those nearby are suddenly enveloped in thick,
rolling fog. Cries of surprise and confusion follow.
Slick: What the hell?!
Belphanior: (to DM) Am I still in a position to backstab Slick?
DM: No, he's to your side.
Peldor: I was somewhere behind him, remember? I'll get him.
(to DM) I stab him in the back.
Slick: Agh! (dies)
Peldor: I grab his moneypouches, and then ready my sword, looking
Belphanior: I backstab somebody. (slays a nearby thug)
Snod: (the large human swings a fist at Mongo, but it rebounds
off of his plate mail) Ouch!
Mongo: Hey! (punches Snod, bloodying his nose and sending him
reeling back over a chair, breaking it) I look around. Who
dares to face me?
thug: (his club bounces off of the dwarf's plate mail) Damn!
Mongo: No fair! (pulls out his hammer) I bet mine is bigger
Ged: (looking around, swings his morningstar at a thug who is
approaching him with a broken bottle) A 20! Boccob!!
thug: (brained; grey matter sprays everywhere)
Ged: Hah! Glory to Boccob!
Rob: (pretty much out of the center of the fray thus far) Are
there any innocents that I can usher to safety?
DM: Nope. But there is a woman with a table leg coming your way.
Rob: Oh. (to woman) Miss, please come with me and I shall see
you out of this madhouse safely.
dame: (bashes the priest with her table leg) Shut up, pig!
Rob: (staggers back)
Peyote: (to DM) I slip on my ring and strike some random hostile
thug. A subdual blow, not a killing blow. I'm a peaceful dude
at heart. (rolls, hits, knocks a nearby thug out, then becomes
Halbarad: Good idea. (exchanges swordplay with a ruffian for a
moment, succeeding in disarming the man) Begone from this place
or you shall no doubt meet a violent end!
ruffian: (flees the bar)
Peldor: (to DM) I try to head towards the bar/bartender to get
cash from his sales. I will attack him if necessary.
DM: Okay. He has a club and means to use it.
Peldor: (knocks the club aside and smacks the barkeep on the head
with the flat of his blade) Peldor is merciful today! Now where
does he keep that money?
thug: (misses Belphanior)
Belphanior: (slays another thug, chuckles) Heh heh. This is fun.
thug: (nicks Belphanior with a shortsword)
Mongo: (slams a thug in the ribs with his hammer, decking him)
Snod: (stands up, bleeding profusely from the nose and mouth) Hey
dwarf! You and me not finished yet!
Mongo: Oh yeah! (smashes the big human in the groin with the war
hammer) Sorry about that!
Snod: Ugh. (falls to the ground in extreme pain)
Mongo: Hah! Gods, I LOVE this hammer!
thug: (injures Ged with a sword blow) Die elf!
Ged: (nicks the thug with his morningstar) Never, Boccob willing!
thug: (his sword is deflected by Mongo's plate mail) Damn!
Halbarad: (still near the party's original table, he is defending
Alindyar so the drow can cast spells freely) Why will these fools
not cease their attack?
Alindyar: This is getting out of control. (casts a web at an entire
side of the bar, trapping at least a dozen more thugs)
Peyote: Good move dude. Uh-oh. (looking out one window) The city
guards are coming! (knocks out another thug with a sword blow)
Belphanior: (to DM) I head for the front door area.
Rob: (recovers from his earlier blow, attacks the wild woman who he
has been fighting with) In the name of Trithereon, woman, let some
measure of justice be done! (hits the woman with his flail, like
the ranger and druid going for subdual damage only)
dame: (knocked out as she slams against one wall)
Peldor: (behind the bar, scooping the bartender's money into his
magical pouch) Heh. (to DM) I grab a bottle of Jagermeister
while I'm back here. And check the barkeep's pockets for tips.
Ged: (heading toward Peldor, purely by chance)
thug: (misses Ged, who is parrying)
thug: (hits Mongo weakly)
thug: (hits Mongo, denting his armor a bit)
Mongo: Fuck! Fuck! Come back here and help me, guys!
Peyote: (to DM) Is anybody outside yet?
DM: The militia is here, about 20 people, heavily armed.
Peyote: I go outside and "explain" how we were attacked.
DM: Okay. They push you aside roughly and head for the doorway
into the bar.
Peyote: Fine. (casts a dust devil, placing the magical creation
square in the doorway) Chew on that for awhile.
militiamen: (halt at the sight of a 5' tall tornado of dust in
front of them. Some of them try to run through it, but are
repelled, choking and wheezing)
Peyote: After casting the spell, I succinctly go around to the
stables and gather the horses for the party.
DM: Okay, no problem. But it will take a few minutes.
Belphanior: (heading for door, now blocked) Yikes! How about a
window then? Yeah! (to DM) I tackle the nearest thug and
leap with him through the window!
DM: Okay. The thug is stunned as you both crash through the
window and into the street. You take 4 hp from broken glass.
Belphanior: So? I climb to the roof and survey the situation.
(makes the roll easily)
DM: Okay. It'll take you a minute to reach the roof.
Alindyar: What now?
Halbarad: (locking his axe with someone's sword) I have no idea
where they went.
Rob: The militia may be dumb, but they're not THAT dumb. They'll
get in here any minute.
Peldor: (finds a door marked "Barkeep Only") Hey guys! Here's
the way out!
The adventurers remaining in the bar ran for the back door that
the thief had found. Through it, there was a storage room, and a
thick iron door with a bar in place. Peldor tossed the bar aside
and opened it, revealing a dark alley lit only by the glow of the
moonlight above. They all broke for the alley; Peldor started a
bonfire in the storeroom, shattering a number of liquor bottles
and then lighting a torch. As the party entered the alley, the
thief hurled his torch into the chamber, and flames filled the
Ged: Great! Wonderful! Now we can just add arson to our long
list of crimes here...fraud, murder, interfering with the city
guard, breaking and entering...
Alindyar: This all started because of you, remember?
Peldor: Don't forget grand theft.
Mongo: Shut up, all of you! Geez! Which way now?
DM: One end of the alleyway dead-ends, the other leads into the
Rob: Great! We run for it then.
DM: Unfortunately, the guards have just arrived at the open end
of the alley. They see you and start shouting loudly.
Peldor: Such language, for a priest! Are there any other doors
in the alleyway?
Ged: We make for the nearest one then.
DM: The first one is locked, as is the second.
Peldor: I could pick them...
DM: No time, the guards are running toward you. But the third door
Mongo: We hurl the door open and run inside.
Peldor: Throw the bolt! There is a bolt, isn't there?
DM: Yep. The door is secure, for now. You hear shouts of anger
and frustration from the alley.
Mongo: Where are we, anyway?
DM: As you crowd into the building, you see naked women wandering
the hallway. Some of them lead half-dressed men by the hands,
some by leashes around their necks...
DM: One of the women sees you and screams.
DM: Suddenly, naked women are running around everywhere, shrieking
and shouting at you.
Ged: Let's get out of this house of sin! Back to the streets, you
painted Jezebels! Repent your vile ways! There is hope yet!
Ged: I get out some holy water and sprinkle it at any of the
prostitutes who happen by.
DM: The women mostly stay out of your way. Who wouldn't?
Peldor: (grabbing at various whores as they mill about) Hey babe!
Whoops! Sorry about that! Maybe some other time! Ha ha!
The party headed down the main hallway, toward where they guessed
the brothel to exit onto a street. They knew there was no time to
waste, for the guardsmen would not take long to figure out where
they had gone. Suddenly, a front door and desk (with a barred
window to the outside door) were within sight. A huge blob of a
man stepped into the hallway, blocking the way to the street.
Big Man: What the hell is going on here? No one gets away with
free booty in MY place! (lumbers toward the adventurers)
Mongo: Fuck! We don't have time for this. I knock him out of the
way. (rolls, getting one of the most significant 20s of his
career. Mongo collides with the bouncer/owner, pushing him
through one of the thin walls) Yeah!
Ged: There's the front door...
The group burst through the front door of the whorehouse and
into the street. Peyote was close by, having rounded up all of the
Peyote: There you are! It's about time. I was beginning to wonder
if you guys were coming out at all. Here's the horses!
Ged: Thanks. (leaps onto his horse) Let's get the hell out of here
before things get worse.
Halbarad: Indeed. This town will never welcome us again.
Alindyar: Fine by me.
Mongo: Naw, this is FUN! (at a poke from Halbarad, he mounts up too)
Belphanior: (still on the roof, surveying the destruction with a look
of pleasure. The bar is engulfed in flames by this time, and all the
guardsmen mill about around the front entrance. Various thugs and
city guards are fighting in the alley the party ran through, and a
number of naked women are running from the brothel, screaming. Some
of the guards, having nothing better to do, begin to arrest them.)
DM: Uh...Belphanior, the roof is getting hot.
Belphanior: Okay. I cast a flame sphere on the ground and manipulate
it to move around. The idea is to ignite any of the guards who are
headed for the party.
Mongo: Hey look! A fireball! It's rolling!
Alindyar: There's the elf, on the roof. That sphere is his doing,
nearby guard: (set ablaze by the rolling, flaming sphere) Aaaugh!
Peldor: Serves him right.
Rob: Fireball? Did someone say fireball?
other guard: Die, outsiders!
Mongo: (smacks the guard with his hammer, sending him reeling to one
side) Out of the way!
Ged: (magic missiles two onrushing guards) Dolts!
other guard: (overrun by Belphanior's ball of flame) Aaaaaugh!
Halbarad: Let's ride!
Belphanior: I leap from the roof to the ground. How far is it anyway?
DM: About ten feet...you take 2 hp of damage from the fall.
Belphanior: Bah! I leap astride my horse as the party starts to go.
Alindyar: (uses his wand to magic missile another guard. Most of them
are dead or occupied now)
Halbarad: Spur your mounts! Let's get the hell out of Dodge!
The group rode on out of Drek. Pursuit by the city guards was to no
avail, as the party was too powerful for the few who were left. The
adventurers decided to head west, back into Ulek. They had had quite
enough of the Pomarj for one lifetime.
next time: the orc keep
NOTES: The entire barfight scene was theoretically caused by Ged's
spell...though all the thugs were going to attack the party anyway
(I knew that; they didn't). This was one of our more entertaining
gaming sessions, needless to say.
This will be the last posting until after Christmas. Ironically
enough, in the game world, it was near the middle of the 12th month
and winter was heavily set in. The party got road dust for their
presents, though :) Merry Christmas, and part XIV will appear
sometime after the new year!
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next chapter (#14)